Dear Diary,
I’m fat. Pretty shocking revelation, I know, considering you can’t throw a dart in a room full of Americans without a 50-percent chance of hitting a fat person. Dear Diary,
I’m fat. Pretty shocking revelation, I know, considering you can’t throw a dart in a room full of Americans without a 50-percent chance of hitting a fat person (maybe even better, really, since we tubbies take up more space and don’t duck as fast).
Like some of you, I’ve struggled with weight my whole life. My first diet memory involves eating plain tuna and saltines out of a Charlie’s Angels lunch box; there was probably Tab in the thermos.
I have Diet Centered and Atkinsed. I’ve been on South Beach, Cabbage Soup, Body-for-Life. I’ve attended the Weigh Down Workshop and have had food delivered from no less than three different companies. I’m a lifetime member of Jenny Craig and a graduate of LA Weight Loss. I’ve done Deal-A-Meal. And, with God as my witness, I’ve even done my fair share of Sweatin’ to the Oldies.
My most successful weight-loss attempt was also my most basic. Junior year of high school, I came up with a brilliant two-step plan: 1) don’t eat junk food and 2) exercise. As you might suspect, it worked like a charm. Why I didn’t carry that wisdom into college and beyond, I have no idea. But better late than never, right?
All that said, I’m still fat. And now the stakes are even higher. I’m writing a book on the economics of obesity and, frankly, would sooner die than have a chubbo picture on the book jacket. Would you read about obesity from a woman who can’t even conquer her own?
What’s more, I’m single, and I really, really like cute guys (the ones who don’t date fat chicks, unfortunately).
So there you have it. My career and love life hang in the balance. And the scales are not tipped in my favor.
More than anything, I want to make this zillionth weight-loss attempt my absolute last. So I’m going back to the basics. I have a big, mean trainer named Nick and a Weight Watchers buddy named Mom.
My goals are to lose 60 pounds and to make lifestyle changes I can live with. I’d planned to do it without publishing my weight for the world to see, but I guess this is better than being weighed on national TV in my sports bra—and this way I have you to keep me accountable. Just please don’t share this with any cute men. Not yet, anyway.
My vital stats
Starting weight: 187 pounds
Weight-loss goal: 60 pounds
Height: 5' 3"
Age: 35
First steps: Weight Watchers, a trainer, and putting my goal out there for everyone to see.
Current weight: 187 |
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